FILE · 044-B
Top Secret
CLASSIFIED
Bureau of Unusual Persons
Field Office 7 · Behavioural Anomalies Division · Case File
subject badge photo SUBJECT — BADGE PHOTO ON FILE

Subject Assessment

Alias"Brad from Accounting"
Real name████████████
SpeciesHUMAN — confirmed (twice)
Height██ hands, allegedly
Coverquarterly reports, small talk, one visible tie
Distinguishingnone. (ignore the horns, everyone else does)
Threat level████ to office snacks only
ConclusionOrdinary employee. Investigation closed.
surveillance still of subject
Exhibit A · Surveillance

Captured 13:21, Camera 7, by the water cooler. Subject was observed drinking from a paper cup and nodding at a colleague's weekend plans. Perfectly normal. Completely convincing. No further questions were raised by anyone in the building, ever.

field note: he got the promotion.

Cross-reference
i. pump.fun ii. field reports iii. dexscreener
Case No. soon
PROPERTY OF THE BUREAU · DO NOT DUPLICATE · NOBODY SUSPECTS THE BULL